Gut Reactions

Tonight I had the privilege of attending a fantastic recital at Whitworth, where two friends gave a wonderful performance that culminated four years of private lessons, instrumental and voice lab performances, and late nights of practicing.  It was awesome to experience their gift of musicianship, but I couldn't help noticing my reaction to being in the recital hall where I spent so many hours as a college student.  Part of me felt nervous, as if I would be called on at any moment to sing something on the spot.  I remember vividly all the insecurities that come with studying music among talented peers.  The other part of me felt as though I didn't belong.  I recognized more students in that hall because they come to my Starbucks than because we were at Whitworth together, which is probably normal for someone nearly three years out of college.  Still, it felt uncomfortable, even as it felt all too familiar.  I think the saying "you can't go back" acknowledges the ways that people, places, and institutions change over time.  Every time I return to Whitworth's campus, I am reminded of the ways that I have changed and the ways Whitworth has changed.  At our core, Whitworth and I are still who we always have been.  But tonight, my gut reactions reminded me that I'm on a journey, and although I seem to keep coming back to the same places, nothing stays the same forever.