Extended Family

Most Wednesday nights, a community of people who all live my general area from my church gather for dinner and an evening of catching up and reflecting and looking forward- just life.  No agenda, no plan.  Just good food and the sacred act of setting aside time to be present with people.  The beauty of this group being determined by location, not "age and stage" or interest or ministry area is that we are quite the mix of people.  Much like extended family.

I didn't choose the family I was born into, and while I can choose to what degree I maintain relationships with cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents, the reality is that we're related.  I feel it when I see all those people at a funeral or a wedding- the strange sense of knowing them, even though I see most of them less than once a year.  In the same way, I didn't choose the community of Christians around me.  I can determine to what degree I invest in those relationships, but the reality is that we are related.  Sometimes, it's fun that I didn't get to choose my church family.  Other days it's difficult, just like learning to get along with my brother was when he was 10 and I was 13, or just like figuring out how to walk the lines between family members who don't always see eye to eye.  But some days, it's plain old beautiful.  Tonight felt more like a family gathering than anything else, but minus the guilt trips or passive aggression or inability to communicate.  Tonight, some people brought lots of food, others grabbed something quick from the store on the way over.  Some people set a beautiful buffet table, others did the dishes (without being asked).  Some told stories, some just listened.  The baby was passed around.  Thought-provoking (and silly) questions were asked and answered.  People floated in and out of conversations.  Entire boxes of girl scout cookies were eaten.  We mocked and allowed ourselves to be mocked.  We shared hopes and dreams, and asked things of each other and God.

And at the end of the night, we all picked ourselves up, said our goodbyes, and headed home.  In the car, I told my friend Lacey that something felt different about community group tonight.  She agreed, but we couldn't quite label it.  I'm still not sure what made tonight different, but as I was thinking back on the evening, I began to realize what a treat it is to be a part of an extended family.  Of course there were awkward moments, and of course we step on each others' toes, but on the whole, we're learning to live together in ways that my real extended family can only dream of, and that credit can only be given to the Holy Spirit.

Presence.  Awareness.  Gratitude.  Presence.