Contentment...in Motion...?

Today was bright and sunny, both in Portland, where I began my day, and in Spokane, where I ended it (although there was a significant temperature difference between locales).  I needed that sunshine.  As winter starts to fade and spring struggles to make an entrance each year, I notice just how much I depend on the change of the seasons to propel me forward.

Things have felt a little crazy the last few weeks.  I accepted a promotion at the job I currently have, applied and interviewed for a job I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get, and am just now deciding not to apply for another internship I was potentially interested in.  People keep saying that it must be exciting, this season of life where just about anything is possible.  Yes, I always want to snap angrily back at them, anything is possible, and it all (seemingly) rests on my decisions!  No pressure or anything.  

{Side note:  I usually refrain from actually giving that response to anyone I don't know all that well.  It does come across a little harsh usually, and it's not their fault they touched a sore spot.}

Anyways.  So there's been all this potential energy hanging about (to use a physics reference), and it felt like today was a day of changing that potential into kinetic energy.  To be completely honest, my life isn't all that more settled than it was yesterday at this time.  But I feel different about all of it, and that's enough.  I feel like I am in motion, moving forward rather than being stuck in a swirling eddy of ambiguity and indecision.

I've been slowly realizing that what I thought was a season of punishment for letting myself get burnt out has actually been a gift.  Working at Starbucks full time is not what I envisioned myself doing at this age, but it turns out that working at Starbucks allows me to do other things that are important to me- like visiting family and friends, having more coffee dates in a week than meals at home, babysitting my favorite kiddos, and being involved at church.  These things are some of the holiest things I get to do, and taking a career-track job or starting a two-year, time and labor-intensive internship would change these things, and probably not for the better.  Maybe tomorrow when I'm getting up at 3:45 (AM!) to go to work I'll be feeling differently about my job, but for now, I'm feeling contentment.  And yet, motion.  What an odd combination.  Sounds kind of upside-down, Kingdom of God-ish to me.  Funny how He keeps sneaking things like that past me.